I receive calls and messages everyday from our sisters. They want to know how my aunty and I  love each other so much. They wonder how the love between us is so strong. Some even believe we are faking it. Some say we are only acting movie.

Dear sisters, we are not actresses, and the love we share is not a movie, wallaahi.

Aunty mi (my cowife) is no angel, neither is she stupid. She accepted me even with a special and expensive gift. I thought it wasn’t real until she showed it with actions.

Believe me, no matter the amount of maturity and piety of the first wife, if the second wife is not reasonable, pious and compassionate, things won’t work out between them. Although the first person that makes things work is our husband. That guy na something else. Until I became his wife, I thought all he told me about his wife was only to get me. He is not perfect, but I respect his wisdom.

Fear Allaah and treat the first wife the way you want to get treated.

Dear second wife , a lot of patience should come from you. It is not easy to be married upon.

There was a day my husband was counseling a brother and he saved his number with lagbaja’s love. I only saw the love without the lagbaja, I immediately developed abdominal pain with dizziness. I looked at him somehow until I saw the person’s name.

Dear sisters, it is not easy. Please apply sense and do not add salt to her injury. Oju ni malu n ro, obe o da lorun


Beware of bad influencers. Those bad friends giving you wrong advice will not be there with you. They will only ruin your marriage. They don’t love you. If they do, they will want peace for you. You’ll be in that marriage alone, remember. You’ll face the consequences alone.

My fellow second queens, be nice to your cowives and learn how to look away. Beware of suspicion. It kills love fast.

Remember you aren’t going to stay in that marriage forever. You may die before your cowife and leave your kids behind. There won’t be a healthy relationship between your cowife’s kids and yours if there was no healthy relationship between you both.


Save the future of your kids.

Many step children fighting each other today are the results of their mothers’ unhealthy relationship.

If you are in good term with your cowife, the kids will definitely be best of friends


Think about your children’s future and a lay good foundation for them.

Every sacrifice you make between you and the first wife will never go in vain. The truth is, your husband will even respect you more. That doesn’t mean you are stupid.

Your children will reap from what you sowed


Respect the first wife, ko rorun fa.

Let people call you dindinrin for treating your cowife well, ko matter

I choose not to betray my peace of mind

Omoniyi Olaitan khadeejah (Ummu Ramlah)

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