Most times when a *marriage is in trouble* , people tend to see their Marriage as a *mistake* rather than seeing the *mistakes they are making*  in their marriage. At this point they *regret marrying their wife or husband, begin to think of a new partner, imagine marrying their ex or fantasizing a marriage without issues.*

Some even divorce or remarry and later wish they had *remained* with their first Spouse, as they find greater trouble in the new spouse. This is because *the first marriage was not a mistake,* and the mistake has not been *discovered yet.*

So you can remarry as many times as you like, you will still experience problems in marriage until *you discover the mistakes you are making in your marriage and correct them.*

So divorce or separation is not a solution to consider when you are having problems with your marriage.

When your car has a flat tyre, you do not abandon it, but repair the tyre and move on.

When we have a headache, no matter how excruciating, we do not cut off the head but take care of the headache.

When a bulb blows out in the room we do not change the room or the house, we replace the bulb and light up the room.

When we have challenges at work, we do not refuse to go to work, we go there to solve the problems.

So when marriage has an issue, we don’t have to try to change the spouse instead of changing the *attitude* that is creating the problem.

Most times when we see some couples enjoying their marriages and enjoying each other to the fullest, we admire and cherish them, but the opposite is seen in our own marriage. The reason is that some people have worked on their marriage *by paying the necessary price* and that is why they are enjoying the fruits of their labour. It is said, “The way you make your bed is the way you will lie on it”.

Your marriage is as *good* or as *sweet* as you make it. Some couples, because of the *negative things* they are seeing in their marriage, accuse each other of being responsible. They point accusing fingers at each other for being responsible. Some even say many bad things about their spouse, even *calling him or her names;* some think that marrying that man or that woman was a mistake.


 *It is not so, your marriage was not a mistake,* *but you are the mistake.*

Your *habit* is the mistake

Your *character* is the mistake


Your *manner, anger, unforgiveness, laziness, lack of love, lack of affection, lack of attention, impatience, bitterness, selfishness, ignorance, stinginess, not being considerate, infidelity and lovelessness are the mistakes.*

Talking about bitterness. Some still dream of a marriage with their ex seeing your spouse as a stumbling block. *Wake up* and smell the coffee. Be *content* with your spouse. That *behavior* is your mistake.

So *get up now* and *build your marriage* because it is not a mistake.

 *Divorce or separation* are never options unless it is LIFE threatening.

 *Amend your ways and decisions.* Give your spouse a *stress free life. May Allah be with us*

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